We have all been there, the teenager who doesn’t fit in with anyone in your family. The one who, only your friends truly understand. Thinking something along the lines of “I cannot wait to get out on my own and be and adult.” In Joyce Carol Oates’s short story Where are you going. Where have you been? the theme is comparable to this as well as the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but that may not be the case when you actually get there. I believe that throughout the story Oates is trying to portray this through the eyes of a sexually curious teenage girl, Connie always wanting what’s coming next in life.
In the beginning of the story Connie goes to the diner where she first sees Arnold Friend. When she first sees him she wants to pretend that she is not interested, but she looks back at him again. “He stared at her and then his lips widened into a grin. Connie slit her eyes at him and turned away, but she couldn’t help glancing back, and there he was, still watching her.” But then when he comes to her house she notices that maybe he isn’t what he seems. “She could see then that he wasn’t a kid, he was much older—thirty, maybe more.” Along with being older when he takes off his sunglasses she notices something strange. “… she saw how pale the skin around his eyes was, like holes that were not in shadow, but instead in light.” Both of these reasons make Arnold different than he first appears.
Not only is Arnold not what he appears at first glance but his car as well is not as it seems. Although it is described as a jalopy the first time Connie encountered it, the manor by which it is described when Connie is actually able to see it up close is interesting, but not desirable. When she first encounters it the car is described like something to be desired. “It was a boy with shaggy black hair, in a convertible jalopy painted gold.” In contrast to that when Arnold comes to her house and she looks at the car parked in her driveway she sees the various writings on the car along with the dent. The only thing that this car has going for it is its paint job, which in the auto world is the thing you should take care of last. Arnold is in essence, for lack of a better term, polishing a turd. Just like Arnold’s exterior his car is something undesirable that seems the opposite from a distance.
These are just two examples of the many throughout this story. The lesson that things may not be quite as awesome as they seem stand out stronger in this story than you may have initially realized.

